Hi! I'm Amy :)

i want to be content

I wish I could be more content with myself. I seriously can’t stand the fact that I need a guy to fill this empty hole in my heart. I wish I can be fully content with myself and just live my life. Guys are good and bad, full of fun and stressful moments. Theres always ups and downs when it comes to being with a guy, which slows me down and makes me tired and sick. It’s funny… most girls depend on a guy for money, you know the “goodies”. I depend on a guy for love and affection, you know..the stuff that doesn’t cost a thing but yet guys have the hardest time doing. I just wonder if I grew up with a loving and close bond with my family, my parents and had enough attention and affection from them, I would not have to seek for that same attention and affection in a guy now. I am so deprived from it. I know I model and gogo dance, and I do get a lot of attention but thats not the kind of attention I’m longing for, and no, I did not get into the entertainment business for attention. That is just screaming out for the wrong kind of attention from the wrong crowd. I got into it cause I can, and I enjoy it. I just want to be in love and happy. I was at one point in my life, but like I said, apparently asking for just love and affection is too difficult for men to handle so they have to do something stupid to fuck it all up. Why is it that the simpliest things in life are almost the hardest things to achieve?